"Hermit Divorce," so the file name tells us, is the topic of the Cartoon Collections Caption Contest #72. My attempts are below. The drawing is by Jon Adams.
"Don't tell me you're going to that Unabomber." "We'll get plumbing if it's so damn important to you." "Check your cell. Any bars yet?" "I suppose you'll tell your mother she was right." "We had a deal. No lawyers." "One more step and I won't take you back."